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How our Childhood Might Influence our Decluttering Habits


You know what I've realized the over the years of supporting clients as a professional organizer? How much the way we grew up plays a huge role in how we approach decluttering. Whether or not we realize it, some of us have childhood experiences that make it really hard to let go of things. This is true even when we know we don't actually need the stuff.


Two people carrying a donation box full of clothes and other items

If you grew up in a big family where you had to share everything or pass things down to younger siblings, you might find yourself holding on to what’s yours now because, well... you finally can plus it's all yours.


Maybe you never had much that was just for you, so now having your own things feels really good. And giving those items up? H-E-Double Hockey Sticks NO! I get it. Because it would feel like you’re giving away something you worked so hard for, right? That's valid.


Maybe you grew up in a household where money was tight and now the idea of letting go of things feels scary, or even wasteful. When you’ve lived through times of not having enough, part of you feels like you have to keep it...just in case. Maybe you think, "What if I need this later? What if I'm not able to replace it?" That fear, that scarcity mindset, that unknown, can make decluttering feel almost impossible. even though your current circumstances have changed. It's like your brain is still wired to think you’ll need everything and won't have enough, even when you know deep down it's not the case.


Can I share something personal with you? When I was addressing disordered eating, a therapist explained to me that I needed to have a conversation with my inner child about it and revisit the old mindset I had towards food. We covered a lot more, but the point is we all have an inner child who influences us in ways that may surprise us.

A child sitting with arms crossed in front of her face as if arms are resting on her knees

So let me be one of the people to tell you that you’re not that child anymore. Remind him/her that now, you are safe.

You don't need to live in the prison of the old mindset. Does this mean you suddenly become wasteful or donate everything you own? Absolutely not. But you learn to be okay with detaching with things you no longer need. The truth is, when we hold on to things out of fear, we often are holding on to feelings from the past instead of looking at what we need right now.


Learning to let go isn’t easy, especially when those childhood experiences still have such a strong influence on how we see the world. I see it in my work with clients often. I still have pep talks with myself when I'm decluttering. But as adults, we can rewrite those narratives. Sometimes I like to joke with my clients that they're in a different tax bracket now and can let go of that pair of shoes that's super worn out. Not because I want them to get rid of it per se. But because it's there, not even being used, just holding space.


When we try to pause and recognize the habits we’ve built out of fear, we can move forward with letting go differently. So dear friends, decluttering isn't just about letting go or losing anything. I really want us to think about decluttering as healing, as growing, and as gaining freedom from items and mindsets that have a hold on us.



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